January 15, 2001

The Wonderful Works of Carol Jackson

TO THE POTTER'S HOUSE

I looked over the photographs of someone I once knew.
Although that someone was I, I did not know her.
This image of the past had been made with the finest imported clay.
The colors were bright with hand painted designs intricately placed all around the vessel.
The vessel that haunted me on the piece of paper was perfectly and uniquely shaped.
Still in looking at this picture of seemingly beauty and perfection, memories of sadness and pain overwhelmed me.
How could I look like I did in that picture and still remember so much pain?
I never realized then what was tormenting me on the inside.
Why do I remember it now after so many years?
How can I see it now?
Then the answer swept over me like a flood.
For the first time, I was on the outside looking in.
I got up and went over to the mirror and looked at myself.
The vessel before me was quite different than the one in the picture.
The vessel that I am now showed many flaws... the once bright colored paint had faded.
There were cracks in many places.
Much of the clay was chipped in areas.
The shape had lost much of its original mold.
How unattractive this vessel in the mirror looked to me.
Then I thought of what I would do...I would go to the Potter's House so He could re-make me as I once was.
The next day I knocked on the Potter's Door. He opened it and invited me in.
I showed Him the photograph and told Him what I wanted Him to do.
I told Him that I felt much pain, hurt, sorrow, and rejection and needed to become new.
He told me that He was willing to help me and had all the needed and necessary material in His House to make me brand new, even better than before.
The Potter began to work on me immediately.
He placed me on His spindle and very carefully began to re-shape and re-mold me.
Many times I saw Him as He worked and there were tears in His eyes but He kept intently working on me, night and day.
Most of this process for me was very uncomfortable and at times very painful... still I was willing to endure the process because I knew what the end result would be.
I never knew that I needed so much work because many days had passed and The Potter continued working on me non-stop.
Often I would ask Him if I could see what He had done to me so far but He kept working and told me that I would see the finished product very soon.
The discomfort became more prominent even bringing tears from the pain but I knew I had to endure this process in order to reap the benefit of being made new.
The spindle continued to turn and The Potter continued to work until one day I saw His hands drop and the spindle stopped turning.
He said to me, "It is finished... you have been made new... all of the flaws have been repaired, the cracks have been restored and you are now a new vessel of honor."
I listened to Him and became very emotional because at His Words I no longer felt the pain, the hurt, the rejection and misery... I felt brand new.
I wondered though what He had done to make me beautiful again... I never saw a paintbrush to restore the faded color... I never saw clay to fill in the cracks and repair the chips.
I do not ever remember feeling Him even touch me on the outside.
Still I knew He had worked very long and hard and I was anxious to see the finished product.
I asked Him if I could go to the mirror and see the "New Me."
He escorted me to the mirror and much to my surprise, THERE WAS NOT ONE THING IN THE MIRROR THAT WAS DIFFERENT... MY IMAGE WAS THE SAME AS WHEN I FIRST ARRIVED AT HIS HOUSE!
This had to be a mistake... He worked hard and long... I felt the pain and discomfort of the process... He told me I was new.
I looked at Him for an explanation and He had the expression of a very content and satisfied artist admiring His work.
I did not understand this at all and began to weep.
It was then that He lifted my face in His hands and spoke these words to me that changed my life forever:
~~~~~~~~~
"You came to Me battered and worn, tattered and torn, bruised and abused, rejected and dejected. The repair you needed had nothing to do with the way you looked on the outside. The appearance you now have is a result of years and living. You were never supposed to remain the vessel that you saw in the picture... you will never look as you did many years ago... even if I restored you as the image in that picture, you would not be restored. You and others look at the outward appearance while I look at the heart. You and others judge the outward beauty but can never see the ugliness on the inside of the vessel. It is dark when you look on the inside of a vessel and much cannot be seen even when you look, but I can see better on the inside. That is what I looked at when you came here and that is what I repaired. While on My spindle, My hands never touched you on the outside but all My work was done on the inside. You are now a vessel of beauty and a vessel of honor and I can Glory at the Work of My Hands. Go now and show yourself to the world and tell all what has been done to you at the Potter's House."
~~~~~~~~~
I left the Potter's House that day feeling more beautiful than I ever had in my life. The next time I looked in the mirror I did not see the cracks, the chips, the faded paint or the shapeless vessel that I saw before; but I saw something different in me that I can not explain. Tears consumed me from seeing this person...from feeling this person...joy and peace overcame me...I no longer felt rejected but loved. I felt brand new and it was all because of the work that was done by the Potter. I will never forget the day I walked into the Potter's House because my life will never be the same.

Isa 64:8 "But now, O Lord, Thou art our Father; we are the clay, and Thou our Potter; and we are the work of Thy Hand."

Jer 18:3-4 "Then I went down to The Potter's House, and, behold, He wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that He made of clay was marred in the hand of the Potter: so He made it again another vessel, as seemed good to The Potter to make it."

II Cor 4:7 "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels that the Excellency of the Power may be of God, not of us."
Copyright. Carol A. Jackson. 2000.All Rights Reserved.


PEACE BE STILL
My afflictions are many as You said they would be
Flood waters cover me so my eyes cannot see
My mind has been lost to the depth of the deep
Such waters of turmoil my peace will not keep

The sun does not shine and the moon does not glow
On the waters beneath them - no light will they show
The state of my mind has been lost to the sea
My heart has been shipwrecked and my soul is not free

No oars in my hands and no sails in the wind
Just tattered cloth blowing unable to mend
A current so strong it pulls me at will
How long til I hear, "PEACE BE STILL"

As far as I look my eyes see no land
My steps fail beneath me while sinking in sand
My soul is so numb, only pain does it feel
How long must I wait before, "PEACE BE STILL?"

In directions unknown my vessel is tossed
So very alone, my presence so lost
Forced by the wind my head is bowed down
If air does not reach me I'm destined to drown

My body is cold from the night chilling draft
My once enclosed vessel is no more than a raft
Water seeping through just threatening to sink me
My will to go on has finally left me

A storm has enclosed me and I can't see the night
Waves thrashing against me have soared to new heights
Lightening is flashing and blinding my sight
Thunder is roaring with powerful might

I shuddered and quaked at the power of the storm
As the lightening had turned into a Powerful Arm
It lifted the raft with a powerful hoist
The thunder was now a Powerful Voice

The Arm placed my raft on dry solid ground
The awesome Voice thundered a powerful sound
"The storm is now over and trouble has left you
Because through all the deep waters I've carried you

Breathe in the fresh air to awaken your soul
Your Anchor is present just grasp and take hold
You are no longer numb, with your soul you can feel
That I have spoken the words, PEACE BE STILL!"
(c)Carol A. Jackson. 2000. All Rights Reserved.

DO YOU STILL WANT ME?

Lord Jesus here is the cry of my heart. I cannot help but have this conversation with you because I feel so far away from you right now. Please hear my cry.
I have not been living all that I should
Not preparing for Your coming as well as I could
So many times struggling with the same kinds of sin
Only to get convicted, and repent, then try again

So many times I have made promises to You
Yet breaking the old ones again promising to do
All of the things that would bring Glory to You
But failing once more never seeing them through

Why are You still with me? Why do You still care?
How much more of me do You feel You can bear?
In me doing those things contrary to Your Will
Yet my spirit is grieved crying out to You still

I never can return living in my old ways
My place is with You for now and always
I don't deserve another chance just to fail You
Still You never leave me alone even though You knew

That I would fail you many times yet You still called my name
My life from that day has never been the same
I feel torn and tattered where can I now go?
I feel worn and battered with sorrow to show

Lord help me to find my lost way back to You
My heart will You touch and my spirit renew?
I quake in my spirit at You still wanting me
Touch me now Lord set my bound spirit free

I know You forgive, I know You forget
But forgiving myself, Oh how I do fret
Help me see Mercy; Help me see Grace
Help me to the throne to again seek Your face

Deliverance I need and I know I must find
Deliver now Lord from the chains that do bind
A clean heart I'm needing created just by You
A right spirit in me Lord, You need to renew

The way I have left You leaves me so broken-hearted
Lord finish the work that in me You have started
I need You to heal Lord and send a new touch
I need Your Presence, only You alone know how much

I won't live without You being first in my Life
Flesh warring with my spirit has caused me much strife
Melt my heart Lord to be sensitive and tender
Teach me how Lord to let go and surrender

By faith I now stand believing You have heard me
Now I take my first steps so my spirit can see
So my spirit can feel and my spirit can hear
The chains unbinding bringing deliverance so near

Do You still want Me? I know now that You do
I never again want to stray and never want to leave You
Because You were Faithful and refused to let me go
From this day and forever in Your Spirit I will flow
(c)Carol A. Jackson. 1999. All Rights Reserved.

FOR ADDITIONAL POETRY:
http://www.caroljacksonministries.org/poetry.htm

SPECIAL LOVE LETTERS FROM JESUS TO THE BODY:
I KNOW YOUR NAME BECAUSE I KNOW YOU

As I sit meditating on My wondrous creation, I see you in the midst. I close My eyes and hear each of your names as a melodious sweet savor surrounding My presence. I have given each of you, My children, a New Name...names that you are called by day by day. The new names have I written in My heart. These names are birthed out of the love that I have for you individually and this love burns deep within My heart.

You may not know these new names but you do know Me. You are My sheep and when I call your names, your spirits answer and hear the voice of Your Shepherd. You know Me and hear Me. Shh...let Me quietly and gently call your names...one by one.

Some of you are called Faithful; some are called Joyful; others Overcomers; others still, Conquerors. Many of you are called Friend; lo I look and yet I see some of you who are called Righteous. Many many names do I call you and I call you all. I call you many times during the course of a day - in into the night - at sunrise and sunset; at the dawn of a new day when My Mercies are new and fresh.

Sometimes I call your names with a bellowing roar and other times with a heart-felt cry through blinding tears. Yet other times I call your names with joyous laughter. I call your names throughout the night as you are sleeping, and I call your names softly but with Resurrection Power at the appointed time to awaken you in the mornings.

When you are weak, I call your name Strong.
When you are discouraged, I call your name Encouraged.
When you are broken, I call your name Fixed.
When you are wounded, I call your name Mended.
When you have faltered, I call your name Forgiven.
When you are afraid, I call your name Trust.
When you are unloved, I call your name Loved.
When you feel at lost, I call your name Found.
When you feel at distance, I call your name Close.
When you feel empty, I call your name Filled.
When you feel like sickness I call your name Healed.
When you feel depressed I call your name Delivered.
When you feel alone I call your name Near.
When you feel unsaved I call your name Righteous.
When you feel uncomely I call your name Beautiful.
When you feel worthless I call your name Priceless.
When you feel unworthy I call your name Worthy.
When you feel overcome I call your name Overcomer.
When you feel conquered I call your name Conqueror.
When you feel bound I call your name Free.
When you feel defeated I call your name Victorious.
When you feel in darkness I call your name Light.
When you feel that you do not belong I call your name MINE!

No matter who you are, where you are; where you have been or where you are going; what you have done or what you are doing...
I STILL CALL YOU BY NAME.
WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU WITH MY LIFE!
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.
Jesus

For more letters go to Url:
http://www.caroljacksonministries.org/letters.htm


LOVE LETTERS FROM THE BODY TO JESUS:

YOU BREATHED FOR ME

Precious Jesus,
As I meditated on the Scripture in Psalms 42:1, I wanted to be able to say the words of that Scripture to You with the most sincere heart I have ever portrayed. The Scripture says, " As the deep pants for the streams of water so my soul pants for You O God". I thought about all that precedes the activity of panting. Panting comes from being excited; panting comes from being afraid; but the greatest thing that panting results from is running after or chasing something or someone - moving rapidly with a goal in sight. Then I knew...in order to pant for You, I had to be running towards You. My panting would be a result of my breath suffering loss and who is my breath, but YOU. The more I ran, the more I panted; and the more I panted, the more You satisfied.

Who alone can satisfy this thirst but You?
Who alone can quench my parchness but You?
Who alone is the Desert of my soul but You?
Who alone is the Well in the dryness of my spirit but You?
You have guided my running. You have hearkened to my panting. You have given life to my breathing. You have anointed my thirst.

My legs ran swiftly to you until the panting deer was in my vision. As I neared the deer, I saw Your arms reaching deeply...reaching intensely. My soul panted for You in such a deep way that my legs ran with all my might until I passed the deer; and with my heart racing and my soul panting, I fell into Your arms and You breathed for me. Your tears saturated my thirsty soul because I was with You.

I panted for You and You breathed for me. Thank you Precious Lord for breathing life into a dark soul and causing a lifeless spirit to pant hard after You.
I love You Jesus with all of my heart.
With Deep Intensity and Passion,
Your Child

For more letters go to Url:
http://www.caroljacksonministries.org/newlettersindex.html

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