| It was one of the few things we
disagreed on and the only thing we never seemed
to settle. He was dedicated to his work—too
dedicated for my comfort—and I felt cheated,
left out. To
make matters worse, my overly dedicated
work-aholic husband was constantly volunteering
his time and talent whereever he felt needed.
Couldn't he see we needed him at home?!!
I prayed about
it. I fumed about it. I calmly talked it over
with him. I cried over it. He promised to
"be a better husband and father." But
nothing changed. Not him. Not me. Not the
situation. Nothing changed at all.
Public
Property
Although this
situation is common in many homes today, it is
all the more drastic for those married to
pastors, doctors, or other public servants. My
husband happens to be a school superintendent in
a small town. People think nothing of calling at
all hours, and he doesn't mind at all.
Add to that the
fact that, for some unknown reason, folks think
they should have some say about every aspect of
my husband's life. How he dresses, where he goes
on vacation, the vehicle he drives, what his wife
says and does—all are open topics for
discussion. But the one that really gets me is
that last one!
One year after
asking for a raise, he was told he didn't need
one, he had the biggest TV in town. It used to
drive me nuts, but my easy-going mate simply
smiles and says it's nice that people care.
|
No Time at Home Truckers' wives can
really relate to this one, but it can apply to
anyone whose hubby spends most of his time at
work or can be called away at all hours.
You have a
private time or family function all planned.
Everything is set. All is in place. Except your
man! He's off serving his employer, or his
patients, or his public. Your day is ruined and
he's not even there to talk with.
Don't
Change Him, Change You
Whatever made
your man choose his profession was probably a
part of him you fell in love with. One of the
most endearing qualities about my honey is and
was his selfless dedication to children, the
disabled and animals. That same quality led him
to his profession. It's who he is and without it,
he would not be the man I love.
With that said,
there is only one solution: any changes must be
within myself. I can continue to bemoan my
neglected state or I can be supportive and help
create a home environment where we both can
recuperate from the stress of his job.
I chose the
latter and am much happier for it. Sure, I'm
still alone more than I like, but he has (all on
his own —no more nagging) made more time for
me by adjusting his schedule as much as he can.
No more guilt
trips laid at his feet. I take up the slack when
he can't be at family affairs, and he notices. He
actually notices!!
|
