This month, we'll discuss the very real and often difficult issue of home schooling versus private school versus public education.

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Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling

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How to Home School

Awesome Responsibility

When I was visiting my niece at Stanford Medical Center, I worked on the education article for this issue of Handmaidens. The topic I had chosen was comparing public, private and home schooling options for Christian parents who bear that awesome responsibility of making the best choice for each child.

Then Carol Skipper sent me this warm and telling story:

Memorial to a Dead Son

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the outer office of the President of Harvard University.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. She frowned.

"We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied.

For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him. And he sighed in exasperation and nodded.

Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.

The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."

The president wasn't touched; he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffly, "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."

"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly, "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?"

Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away. Traveling to Palo Alto, California, they established the University that bears their name. A memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Why Not Public Schooling?

As an ex-public school teacher married to a Superintendent of Schools who has given a lifetime of service dedicated to improving public education, I must admit a biased point of view.

Now, please don't think I am blinded to the ills suffered by today's public education delivery system. I am acutely aware of them, believe me!

But we must be realistic and note that not ALL public schools are fraught with violence, or teach homosexual values, or leave creation out of origin of life studies, or any of the myriad of problems seen in some public school systems.

I can personally cite numerous public school which DO allow prayer, encourage Christian values, host Bible clubs and do all sorts of "right" things to provide students with a wholesome, well rounded education.

Public school students receive benefits not afforded the home schooled student and frequently lacking for private school students as well.

There is the obvious advantage (and it is an advantage!) of learning to work and play with others from all sorts of backgrounds. Jesus mingled with the masses but was not tainted by them. When a child receives continuing Christian teaching and values at home and church, it is more likely he will share those values than adopt less desirable ones. I've seen many a youngster witness for Christ in the classroom and on the playground. They're better at it than most adults!

Another often forgotten advantage is the much maligned regulation of the state and federal agencies. Private school staff need not be certified in most states, if any, and neither do home schoolers. While this may not be a serious matter in the lower grades, it is a cause for deep concern beyond grade four. Even a trained teacher is not expert in all subject areas and is probably incompetent in most of them!

Accreditation may be more important than you think. Colleges and employers are becoming increasingly selective, and when a home or private schooled student applies, there is really no standard by which to measure the student's prior performance. Accredited private schools are often pricey, so frequently Christians send their children to small church schools and they do not fare well in the competition for jobs, college admissions or scholarships.

Lastly, if we as Christians flee the public school arena, how can we effect change for good? Who will hear our voices as we cry out for school reform? How can we improve the lot of the non-Christian child? Or of this ailing nation itself?

But there is no right choice fitting every child, and the public school available to you may not be a good place for your child to learn. Carefully evaluate the public schools in your area, list the good and bad points and pray for God's guidance as you aim for His will.

I taught for a time at St. Patrick's Catholic School in Sidney, NE. It was one of the best schools I've ever seen. So, you see, I also have a bias toward private schooling.

Private schools, both religious and secular, usually accept a variety of students and attempt to offer a quality education. Most have a special focus or special curriculum such as art, or music, or Christianity, etc. which allows parents to emphasize some aspect of their children's education.

Class sizes are usually smaller in private schools, and this improved teacher student ratio is an obvious benefit for all. Other advantages may include a safer, more wholesome environment, meeting special needs or greater opportunities for parents to participate.

Although many private institutions offer some scholarship help, they all cost money that must come from somewhere. Larger families, or even those with average incomes, cannot easily afford tuition, books and supplies at the better private schools, so may end up sending their children to non-accredited schools which may be poorly staffed and offer limited curricula.

Worse yet, if you must take an outside job to cover the tuition, your whole family could suffer for it. Read Margo Bentzler's story HERE.

If you opt for a private school, be sure to ask about teacher qualifications, programs, accreditation and request statistics on alumni college acceptance, etc.

Why Not Home School?

One of my daughters home schooled her girls for a number of years. Stephanie is a natural teacher with the advantage of a fine education and an excellent mind. I personally tested each granddaughter using national standardized tests and found in most areas, they were well above their peers.

No doubt the one-on-one attention and variety of experience is an advantage to the student of a dedicated home schooler.

Also, there are numerous support groups and excellent learning materials now available to those who would teach their own children. And every outing can turn into a class field trip!

The students learn in a safe and loving environment and can progress at their own pace. Special needs can be met as in no other schooling option and tales of glowing success are many.

Students can participate in some public school programs such as music, sports, art and computer classes. This opens a window to social interaction along with expanding learning opportunities.

Yet no matter how diligent or dedicated, the home schooler, some areas are almost universally problematic. Math and spelling drills, along with other such student drudgery are the most frequent low points, even in the lower grades. As students move to higher levels, these areas suffer even more as do the disciplines outside the parents' areas of expertise.

It's almost impossible to effectively wear the teacher hat and the parent hat at the same time, but most home schoolers have trouble avoiding that temptation. I taught my own kids in the classroom and had trouble with it as do many other teachers who must teach their child in the small school setting.

Then there is the issue of being in the world but not of the world. We cannot have a living witness for Christ if we are isolated from this dying world who so desperately needs Him.

Conversely, the child too well insulated from the from the differing philosophies of society may fall easy prey to the smooth talk and slick packaging of unwholesome lifestyles, cults or worse. They lack the experience of having seen and seen through these things that children in a public school environment learn from the early grades on.

What's All This Got to Do with Stanford?

There are several morals of that Stanford story:

1. The Stanfords, in all their wealth, were humble people. Don't be puffed up with your own importance - or your child's. We often make choices "for the good of the children" when the choice is actually for our own pride or other benefit and may not be best for the children at all. Whatever educational choice you make for your child, do so only after prayer, investigation and more prayer, not because others in your church or circle of friends think it's the way to go.

2. The Stanfords were civic minded people. We do not live in a vacuum. As Christians, it is important, no, it is VITAL that we care about the society as a whole. We have been commanded to go out into the world for Christ. You don't have to go on a mission to China, just go out into the school and neighborhood, to your friends, etc. Make your Christian voice heard at a school board meeting, political rally, in the supermarket, anywhere and everywhere. Make a difference in the public school system, even if you decide it isn't now the place for your child.

3. The Stanfords were patient people. Change takes time. If you're unhappy with the public schools in your area, act for change, pray for change and be patient.

4. The Stanfords were giving people. You don't have millions of dollars? No, but you do have time (we all do if we make time) and talent. Give some of it to the school system!

Steps to Take Now

1. Pray. I cannot overstate the importance of involving the Lord in every choice you make, especially this one. Search the scriptures and pray. Keep God's will foremost in your decision making process.

2. Investigate the public schools in your area. Public schooling is the obvious choice for your child's education unless there are unusual circumstances. Be sure you're not shunning the public school simply because it's the "in" thing to do.

3. Investigate the private schools in your area. If it's Christian classes your looking for, you may be able to leave your children in public school but also enroll them in Bible or other Christian classes for part of the day.

4. Investigate home schooling options and resources. You can use search engines to find links.

5. List pros and cons of each option. Consider mixing options. Then rearrange your list so that the most important items are at the top of the pros list and the cons list.

6. Have a family meeting to discuss the options. Include and listen to the children! Pray together and ask the Lord to lead you.

7. Remember the Stanfords. Be humble, civic minded, giving and patient.