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Time is a Gift of Love It isn't always what you think... Nearly everyone will agree that time is one of the best gifts you can offer your beloved. We already know that any relationship requires time. Without it, they will grow cold and stale, or worse yet, bitter. Even so, many couples struggle over time conflicts. They give time to one another but strife prevails. The wife who keeps a mental tally sheet comparing her time gifts with those of her husband, the man who feels he has not one minute to call his own, the newlywed who begrudges a phone call from her mate to his parents... each has developed a warped sense of what time means to a love relationship. Jesus, the Master of relationships and love, taught us much by example. Let's look at what He showed us by His own life: Spend Time with God As we read the synoptic Gospels, we find our Lord often went off alone for spiritual renewal and prayer. He knew that time spent with His Father was actually a gift to those He loved on earth. How much more do we need to be strengthened and brought to a proper sense of perspective and selflessness in love. We cannot love well without the filling of divine love we receive from our Father. It is so vital to take the time to be with the Lord in daily prayer and Bible study. Have a private time - just you and your Lord - and encourage your spouse to do the same. Also, have a shared time
when you and your mate approach the throne together. If
married to an unbeliever, take it slow. Invite him to
join you in daily prayer or a short devotional, but don't
push. You can't shame or nag him to the cross. Recall
scriptural advice to wives of unbelievers and let your
quiet, sweet spirit lovingly lead your mate to Christ.
The book Stop Keeping Score Jesus spent time away from His disciples and sent them out on their own as well. They needed this and He understood that. I am sure He never jealously kept a mental record comparing time they spent with Him versus time spent with each other or their families, etc. Indeed, there are frequent references to visits with the disciples' relatives. Both you and your beloved need time to call your own. How much depends on the individual, but without it no one can be completely whole. You also both need time with others that doesn't include your spouse. Each should have time for other relationships. Private time with friends and family should be encouraged for both partners. If you are open and tolerant with your mate about this, any excessive problems in this area can usually be solved with honest discussion and patience. Be Focused When Jesus gave time to others, He did so completely. There was nothing half-hearted about it. I can just imagine Jesus' eyes fully focused on the blind man or the leper as He spoke with them. He wasn't absent mindedly nodding and saying "Uh huh..." Just as He gives us His full attention when we call on Him in prayer, Jesus showed intense interest and deep caring for everyone who sought Him. A wonderful thing happens when you begin showing your beloved that sort of devoted attention. He will begin wanting more of it and he'll begin to return it. It may be slow at first, but it does not fail. So, no matter how much or little time you have to share as a couple, give your man your full, interested and caring attention. Look directly into his eyes when he speaks, listen to what he says and let him know it's important to you. Of course, this is the same sort of attentiveness that makes anyone feel important and should become a common feature in all your interactions with others. Sure, you have a million distractions just like we all do and it's hard to stay focused on one person while others clamor for attention, too. Jut try giving yourself to one at a time, even if the time is short and you need to ask another to wait for a moment. Your children will soon pick up this good habit as they learn that your undivided attention is worth waiting for. Giving Time Give your time to your beloved. Give him his time to himself. Give full attention. And give time to yourself. These are such precious gifts! Graphics, Design
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Resources Author: Iona Hoeppner |
