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Hurting
or Helping
By Staff Writer Marsha Jordan
Executive Director of
Hugs and Hope
Over and over, Cobi screamed, "No! No!"
as the nurse and I held him down. He sobbed in pain and begged for my
help, but all I could do was push him down onto the table with all my
might as he kicked at me. The look of fear on his face burned a hole
into my heart. As he struggled to get away, he kept his terror-filled
eyes locked on mine as if to ask, "I thought I could trust you. Why are
you hurting me?" I cried along with him, knowing that he depended upon
me to protect him, but I could not free him.
Cobi, my grandson, was eighteen months old. He had third degree burns on
his hand. Daily, the pediatrician had to "debride" the damaged tissue.
That meant two people had to hold the screaming toddler down while the
doctor ripped the skin from his hand so that it would heal properly. I
would have given anything to trade places with Cobi, but I was helpless
to stop his pain.
If you’re a parent, you know how heart breaking it is to watch your
children suffer. Yet, sometimes you must do just that, for their own
good.
I can only imagine how painful debriding must be or how terrifying it is
to be held down and subjected to such torture. But it was necessary for
Cobi’s healing. Without this treatment, he might have grown up without
use of his hand, and his fingers may have permanently curled into his
palm.
He didn’t understand any of that, of course. All he knew was that
strangers were hurting him and he couldn’t get away. And someone he
loved and trusted was helping these strangers to hurt him. He thought we
were being cruel. It broke my heart to watch his suffering. Holding him
down for it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done, but I had to do it. I
know he was wondering, "If you love me, why won’t you help me?"
Don’t we ask the same question when God doesn’t step in and rescue us
from pain? Have you wondered, "Why is God punishing me? Why does He
refuse to help me?" It’s natural to ask, "Why?" But God’s not going to
send a telegram explaining His motives.
God is a loving parent who wants what’s best for us. He cares about what
we need, rather than what we want. He demonstrated how much He cares by
sacrificing His son for us. Since He was willing to do that, I trust Him
to do what’s best for me in any situation.
Just as we parents must sometimes practice "tough love" with our kids,
God is the same way with His children.
Even if I don’t understand what He’s doing or why, I can trust God. He’s
proven to be worthy of my trust. He has information that’s not revealed
to me. I can’t figure it out, but I can focus on God’s words.
We’re like the passengers in the middle car of a long train. God is the
engineer who sees the train from beginning to end and knows where it’s
going. Only He can look ahead to see how current problems may benefit us
in the long run.
God allows challenges for reasons I will probably never understand. I do
know it’s not because He enjoys seeing me suffer. He may want to teach
me to depend upon Him more, He may want to stretch my faith, or He might
just want to wake me up.
He may allow suffering to soften and open my heart. He wants me to be
still and listen to Him. Hardships remind me that I can’t control
everything.
No matter how abandoned I feel, I need to cling to the promise Jesus
made when he said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews
13:4-6)
Romans 8:28 says, "We know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." This
doesn’t say that only good things will happen. It says that God can
somehow bring something good out of even the worst situations, for those
who love and serve Him.
When I see bad things happening and I can’t understand why, I cling to
my heavenly Father. It doesn’t surprise me that I don’t understand
everything about Him or His word. Why shouldn’t He write something more
grand than what I can understand with my pinto bean brain?
When life doesn’t go the way I plan, I take one day -- and sometimes one
moment -- at a time, trusting God’s wisdom. I rely on Him to carry me
through.
I think that’s the kind of trust and surrender He wants from all of us.
** We must have the courage to let go of the life we had planned in
order to have the life that is waiting for us.
Motherhood - Facts & Fiction
Somebody said it takes about six weeks
to get back to normal after you've had a baby... somebody doesn't know
that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct... somebody never
took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring... somebody never rode in a car
driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out
good"... somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices... somebody never
came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball
through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.... somebody
never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the
first.... somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing
questions in the books... somebody never had a child stuff beans up his
nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and
delivery... somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the
first day of kindergarten... or on a plane headed for military "boot
camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand
tied behind her back... somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies
to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married...
somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to
a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home....
somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell
her.... somebody isn't a mother.
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Author: Iona Hoeppner
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Revised:
February 04, 2006.
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