The husband once aspired to be a self-sufficient, back-to-the-land pioneer. He bought a windmill, oil lamps, beehives, and a couple of pigs, which we named Lois Lane and Clark Kent.

This dirty duo caused me headaches from the day we took them home. We tied them in gunny sacks and secured them in the back of our truck; but the Houdini hoglets somehow freed themselves, tumbled from the vehicle, and headed for the hills. We eventually got the slippery little buggers safely home, but only after a wild skirmish in the woods.

The adventurous and clever Clark soon discovered his alternate identity as Super Pig. He learned to climb atop his roofed shelter and leap over the fence to freedom. Lois, not to be outdone, was never far behind. Motorists on the highway near our home reported seeing wild pigs darting between cars. I also received some angry phone calls from horrified neighbors who were shocked to find the pair digging up their flower beds. Perhaps, rather than Lois and Clark, they should have been named Lewis and Clark, due to their propensity to explore.

These two heavy weights usually embarked upon their adventures while the husband was at work, so I was the designated pig herder, responsible for bringing the troops home after each rendevous. How does one lure two full-grown hogs to follow you? It takes courage, determination, and a slop bucket full of swine delicacies like apple cores, potato peels, and moldy bread crusts. More than once, I trudged through waist-deep snow, dropping a trail of left overs behind me.

I’ve never liked animals that were too big to sit in my lap, but these humongous hogs were more than intimidating. They were man eaters! While leading them home like the pied piper, I had to run to stay one step ahead as they followed close behind, nipping at my heels.

Yes, pigs BITE - at least these two did. They were scarier than attack dogs.

Once Lois and Clark tasted blood, they preferred it to their usual diet. That diet consisted of truckloads of stale doughnuts, sour milk, and assorted restaurant scraps. Keeping the porkers fed was a big job. They ate a lot, and you can imagine what else they did – a LOT.

The manure pile grew into a mountain, which remained long after Lois and Clark were laid to rest as pork chops in our freezer.

The following summer, I planted a garden that I faithfully weeded, fertilized, and watered.

At the end of the season, I was shocked to discover that my prized vegetables were dwarfed in comparison to the giant tomatoes and cucumbers that had sprung up from the manure pile.

You may wonder why I’m telling you more than you care to know about pigs and manure. It’s because I’ve found that where there’s manure, there’s sometimes a lesson buried under it.

Like you, I’ve known sorrow, loneliness, and disappointment. At those times, it often feels like I’m living smack dab in the middle of a mountain of manure. However, things that stink aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes, what we think is awful right now may end up being good for us. Ask anyone who took castor oil as a kid!

Just as the garbage in a compost heap makes gardens grow, the garbage in our lives can enhance our personal growth. Trials can result in strong faith and character. The stuff that stinks the most is usually the best fertilizer for healthy spiritual development. Even stinky manure, after a time, turns into healthy and clean smelling soil.

Gardens go through seasons. Spring is the season to plant and fertilize. Summer is the season to weed and cultivate. Fall is the season to harvest. Winter is the season for the land to rest. Our lives have different seasons too. Some of them are more difficult than others. But if we endure "for a season" without giving in to short-term thinking, we will reap a harvest.

When your heart is broken, it may feel hopeless; but there’s always hope, even in the dung heap. Open your eyes to see beyond the pig pies to how God might be working. Consider what the end result, and God’s plan, might be for this situation.

God can produce blossoms of blessing from pig manure. Well, the Bible doesn’t actually say pig manure, but He can bring good from anything. Isaiah 61:3 says He will bestow upon those who grieve a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

God takes the smelly, disgusting manure that our lives can become and He brings forth prize-winning, life-giving fruit. Celebrate the fact that we don’t have to climb that manure mountain alone. Believe and keep the faith, then grab a shovel and start digging. There’s a harvest on the other side.
 

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INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE

Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem, Roman-occupied Judea - Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival, Family Protective Services personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.
 

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth, attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but was restrained by the police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who claim to be wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these, who may be in the country illegally.

A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They resisted arrest, saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager of the Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is.

Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure.

Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape. Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God. The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others - in this case her child - we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper therapy regimen we can get her back on her feet."

A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."