Handmaidens - Education Issues

April 17, 2001

Education Issues

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Just A Thought
By Staff Writer Sharon Barrett

Palms 115:1 "Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness."

All the glory goes to the Lord and so it should because it is he who created all things. What have we created that the Lord did have a hand in? Did you make a quilt? Was not the Lord's hand in the cotton you used? Glory to the Lord because of his love and faithfulness to us. Because of the Lord we can do small things, that seem to big us.......
Just A Thought

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Money for College
By Iona Hoeppner

Okay, so she's only in first grade and you're too busy to think about college just now, but before you flip off to another web page, you really do need to take a few minutes ask how you'll be able to send your child to college.

Frankly, most folks can't afford to send all (or ANY) of their kids to college if they must foot the bill for tuition, feed, books, board and room unassisted... we're talking thousands of dollars here... many thousands!

But there is hope and there is help. Here's a list of web sites you'll want to check out:

Student Guide--Federal Pell Grants
A Federal Pell Grant, unlike a loan, does not have to be repaid. Pell Grants are awarded only to undergraduate students who have not earned a bachelor's or professional degree. (A professional degree would include a degree in a field such as pharmacy or dentistry.) For many students, Pell Grants provide a foundation of financial aid to which other aid may be added.

Grant's on the Web
Colleges, College, Scholarships, Financial, Aid, Universities, Student, Grants, Career Planning, College Selection... A huge list of link.

And On the 8th Day God Created Teachers

On the 6th day, God created men and women.
On the 7th day, he rested.

Not so much to recuperate, but rather to prepare himself for the work he was going to do on the next day. For it was on that day - the 8th day-that God created the FIRST TEACHER.

This TEACHER, though taken from among men and women, had several significant modifications. In general, God made the TEACHER more durable than other men and women.

The TEACHER was made to arise at a very early hour and to go to bed no earlier than 11:30 p.m. - with no rest in between. The TEACHER had to be able to withstand being locked up in an air-tight classroom for six hours with thirty-five "monsters" on a rainy Monday. And the TEACHER had to be fit to correct 103 term papers over Easter vacation.

Yes, God made the TEACHER tough... but gentle too. The TEACHER was equipped with soft hands to wipe away the tears of the neglected and lonely student... of those of the sixteen year old girl who was not asked to the prom.

And into the TEACHER God poured a generous amount of patience. Patience when a student asks to repeat the directions the TEACHER has just repeated for someone else. Patience when the kids forget their lunch money for the fourth day in a row. Patience when one-third of the class fails the test. Patience when the text books haven't arrived yet, and the semester starts tomorrow.

And God gave the TEACHER a heart slightly bigger than the average human heart. For the TEACHER's heart had to be big enough to love the kid who screams, "I hate this class - it's boring!" and to love the kid who runs out of the classroom at the end of the period without so much as a "goodbye," let alone a "thank you".

And lastly, God gave the TEACHER an abundant supply of HOPE.
For God knew that the TEACHER would always be hoping.
Hoping that the kids would someday learn how to spell...
hoping not to have lunchroom duty...
hoping that Friday would come...
hoping for a free day....
hoping for deliverance.

When God finished creating the TEACHER, he stepped back and admired the work of his hands. And God saw that the TEACHER was good.
Very Good!

And God smiled, for when he looked at the TEACHER, he saw into the future. He knew that the future is in the hands of the TEACHERS.

And because God loves Teachers so much, on the 9th day God created "Snow Days."

Wit or Witless?
Why Teachers Go Grey

These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area:

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.

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