April 17, 2001

Too Sexy, Too Soon
Are Children Exposed to Sexual Content Too Early?
Based on an article on abcnews.com
Iona's comments in red.

Sex is nothing new to American children, even those who grow up in Christian homes. Pre-teens can sing along with pop-star Britney Spears' suggestive lyrics; they laugh when movie character Austin Powers meets a seductress named Ivana Humpalot. Long before they can read, today's children are bombarded with sexual images in their music, on television and in movies. And if you think children aren't affected, think again, one expert says.

"Children can't fully understand sex," says education professor Diane Levin, "or how it's attached to relationships." Levin, author of Remote Control Childhood? Combating the Hazards of Media Culture, has studied the effects of media on children's development for over 20 years. She believes that a barrage of sexual information too early confuses children.

"Children are seeing these images at a time when they're struggling to figure out what does it mean to be a boy? What does it mean to be a girl?," she says. "What does it mean to have interaction between males and females?"

I would also point out that parents and Sunday School programs tend to avoid teaching God's lessons on sexuality to young children... and all too often even to teens!

Full-Time Preoccupation
According to a recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, the average American child spends more than 38 hours a week on video games, music, TV, reading and their computers — nearly the equivalent of a full-time job.

And the report notes that 68 percent of the material the children watch contains sexual content, up from 56 percent just two years ago.

"The kind of increased sexual images that children are seeing in the media and in their toys has a parallel with when they get a little older," Levin says. "They start becoming sexually active earlier."

In fact, research shows that during the 1970s and '80s, an increasing proportion of kids were having sex in their early teens. By the mid-'90s, more than 24 percent of girls and 27 percent of boys had had intercourse by age 15

So, what we have is a generation of youngsters absorbing sexual content yet having no moral basis with which to filter or properly process it. The dangers are obvious!

The Meaning of 'Sexy'
Even if they see their kids watching sexual images or mouthing the words to racy songs, some parents assume that sexual messages are lost on young children.

To test that theory, Good Morning America brought a group of boys and a group of girls, ages 7 to 10, to the Children's Museum of Manhattan. While their parents observed from another room, the children watched clips from their favorite TV shows, movies and music videos.

One young boy, Teddy, said he thought singer Britney Spears dressed the way she did "so she looks cool on TV."

Another boy, Nigel, said "she wants to look all sexy, that's it!" He further explained that acting sexy means, "to wear tight clothing and expose your body."

In the girl's group, Neema, who was watching a Jennifer Lopez video, was quick to volunteer that she knew the video's ending: The singer removes her shirt. Asked why the singer did it another of the girls quickly responded, "To look sexy," she said.

It is no wonder that "sexy" is equated with "cool," and "cool" leads to popularity which kids of all ages seek so fervently. It is little wonder then that youngsters imitate seductive behavior and find sexual immorality increasingly acceptable, indeed desirable!

Their parents were dismayed.
"It's kind of scary what these kids are seeing" said Terry Atwell. "And what they're exposed to at this age, the things that they can talk about even at four and five years old."

Another parent also voiced concern about the possible long-term effects of such exposure.

"Whether or not they understand the nuances of what's going on, they're absorbing all of that information," said Bob Salant. "And perhaps it's not going to affect them today, but who knows how it's affecting their behavior patterns in the next couple of years."

It may not be evident that they are being affected today, but I believe they are. I am convinced the enemy uses such exposure to gain a foothold in young lives even at a very early age. I further believe that parents need to take a strong stand to protect their children... see notes at the end of the article.

Inescapable Exposure
Sexual material is so entwined in pop culture that even the most vigilant parent would have a hard time keeping their children away from it.

There is no research at this point demonstrating that young kids who are exposed to sexual imagery get involved in earlier sexual activity says Good Morning America's Parenting Contributor Ann Pleshette Murphy. But Murphy points out that there is overwhelming evidence that exposure to violence and aggression leads to violent and aggressive behavior, even in children as young as eight years old.

Although many parents assume that PG-13 rated movies are comedies without a lot of sex and nudity, they should be aware that the movies contain adult jokes and situations. And kids pay attention to it, even if they don't understand it, Murphy says. Some experts think kids pay closer attention to things with sexual innuendo, because they hope to learn about sex.

Exposure at Home
Perhaps this is the most overlooked danger of all. Consider these examples taken from the lives of real Christians:

Little Johnny was only four when big sister Jan got married. He was there while Mom and Jan prepared her "wedding night" suitcase. His little ears heard discussions on birth control, romantic music, setting the mood, etc. His widened eyes saw the lacy nightie and other items being packed, and he later gave his Sunday School class a complete and very shocking report!

Bill and Mary loved their little twins so much that the girls continued the share their parents' bedroom until they were almost seven. Both parents were horrified when the first grade teacher called to say the girls were discussing and imitating intimacies they had observed when their parents thought they were fast asleep!

Keep Tabs on What the Kids Watch
Parents should pay close attention to what movies and TV shows are appropriate for their children. Getting a V-chip for their television can prevent kids from accessing certain channels.

I would also suggest that parents check out viewing policies at the homes their youngsters visit. I was quite dismayed to learn that my youngest watched a rather racy movie at a friend's house since I knew the parents were very conservative Christians... but it seems they were too busy to notice and were certain their daughter (and mine) would never watch anything like that. Believe me, they will!

When kids do see inappropriate material, parents may not have to explain everything. Watch what they watch, and look for "teachable moments," so that you can address issues in a timely way. Ask children what they think and listen carefully to what they say suggests GMA's Anne Pleshette Murphy.

It is important to teach children what God has to say about all aspects of life, and to do so, you must already know His word. If you get stumped, keep Bible and concordance handy.

Experts suggest parents emphasize to kids that they should respect themselves and others, boys and girls. And GOD!

Another tip: Teach children the proper words for anatomical terms and functions, and tell them that slang words are inappropriate. If a child asks an embarrassing question in public, such as on the supermarket line, tell them you will address it at home or in the car — and be sure to do so.

Keep your lessons age appropriate and emphasize how wonderfully and perfectly God designed our bodies as well as how He taught us to treat them and use them properly and for His glory.

Most of all, know what your children are watching. Don't let them have their own TV or computer in their room. Those items should be in a family room, Murphy says.

Invest in Christian videos and good, clean entertainment as well as books and games which emphasize positive and Godly self image, family values, appropriate love stories for older kids, etc.

Let your children know that it's OK to act like a kid, especially when it comes to clothing and music choices.

Or anything else! Don't be afraid to limit dress and other choices or censor unwholesome material... at any age. Encourage your kids to enjoy KID things, and take time out to join in yourself. Being a kid again is good for you, too, and helps teach your kids that it's cool.

Finally, know that taking the middle ground requires taking charge of what they're exposed to. You can't raise kids in a bubble, but parents have to take more responsibility and say "no" more often, Murphy says.

I would avoid the "middle ground" opting to dare to stand on the right. Our society, enervated as it is by the media, has chosen to idealize and publicize violence, sex, materialism, homosexuality and a host of other unwholesome and unworthy plagues, and we must stand firm and bold on our faith, on our convictions, and in Christ.

Use the Powers God Gave You
Pray always for your children's protection and salvation. Teach them God's word and way. Spend time with them. Openly and aggressively fight the evils cited above and let your kids see you do so. Command satan and his demons away from your children in the name and power of Christ Jesus, warning him these children are claimed for the Lord and he has no right to them... And do not give up. Nor become complacent. Nor get too busy. Be ever diligent for you are fighting a WAR!

A Grandmother's Prayer
By Janet

I have two beautiful grandsons. When the first one was born nearly 2 years ago, I wrote this poem which I would like to share with you.

Child of my child, of me, but apart
Individual, separate and yet in my heart,
Trusting, secure, watched over and loved
By the one I watched over many years removed.
Your smiles and your tears, your joy and your laughter
A deep, moving bond between you and my daughter.
A bond that I feel from one generation to the other
The joy of a grandchild, the pride of a mother.

Today is your past, your present and future
While I futiley try to look into tomorrow,
You live in the moment, to worry a stranger,
The world is your friend, you've no concept of danger.
I pray that the soul I see in your eyes
Will know God's protection from deception and lies.
I tremble to think of the world you have entered
And pray that your heart on Him will be centred.

May the wonder you show at simple things
Be transferred one day to the King of Kings.
May the confidence you have we will answer your cry
Be rooted and grow in the Father on high.
I pray we won't fail you, but if that should be
To the arms of the Faithful One I pray you will flee.
May God bless you with peace, may you know the deep love
Of your family below and your Father above.

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Revised: April 20, 2006.