Recess Boo Boo's
By Staff Writer Marsha Jordan Executive Director of Hugs and Hope

My grandson started kindergarten this week. It’s always tough when a distant dream becomes a frightening reality. The adjustment has been difficult. The first day was long and filled with anxiety. There was great apprehension, much fear and worrying, and a whole lot of sobbing . . . but I survived. The second day was a little easier for me; but my son, who is a stay-at-home dad, was a nervous wreck.

We hate to see our little sweetie grow up and go out into the big, bad world ALL ALONE. Why do kids begin school at such a tender age, anyway? Five is so young. They should wait until at least twelve. I see these little cherubs walking to school and I wonder, "How can their mothers let them outside alone?"

I'm a little overprotective, I guess. I don't understand why grandma can't ride the bus with him and sit next to him in school, for the first month at least. No one can protect my sweet potato like his she-bear grammie. Who will kiss his boo-boos if he falls down? Who will yell at the naughty kids who teach him bad words? Who will threaten the bullies who pick on him? Who will see that the teacher gives him the extra special attention that he deserves?

That first day, my imagination was enough to fuel my worries, but then I learned that Cobi had been beat up during recess! This is one of the worst things a grandmother can hear. (I had hoped that my biggest shock the first week of school would be hearing that he'd called the teacher a doo-doo head or a stinky face.) I should have had the foresight to pay off the playground monitor so she'd watch out for him.

It seems that my brave little man tried to rescue a first grade girl who was being harassed by an older boy. When Cobi defended her, the bigger boy knocked him down and gave him a bloody nose. Of course, grandma wanted to go to school and give that bully what for, visit his parents, and call the principal; but my grandson assured me that it wasn’t a big deal. In fact, he seemed unbothered by the entire incident.

When I asked what happened after the boy punched him, Cobi casually explained that he hadn’t hit back because he "didn't want to hurt the big kid." Grandma couldn’t help but smile at that. If you’re a parent or grandparent, you probably feel as I do . . . it’s harder to deal with adversities affecting our kids than it is facing things that hurt us personally. Don’t you wish we could just wrap them in bubble wrap to protect them when they’re away from us?

Cobi is speeding toward adulthood faster than a computer virus spreads across the web. He recently took the training wheels off his bike. He’s growing up! Before I know it, he’ll be driving the car, having children of his own, and visiting me in the old fogies’ home. (At least I hope he’ll visit.)

I hope that time won't come too soon. There are too many fun things we need to do together before that happens. I plan to savor every one of them.

The Bible verse is true that says, "Children are gifts from God. They are his reward." (Psalm 127:3)

Still Learning English
Submitted By Staff Writer Dianne Miller

So you thought you were tough enough to try to learn English. This Little Treat on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown. Peruse at your leisure...

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth. One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, Why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all!

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

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