Handmaidens -Parenting

September, 2000

Parenting Issues	Topics
Just A Thought By Staff Writer Sharon Barrett Acts 5:29 Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than men!" We as humans always want to look good to others, but how are we looking to the Lord? Are we standing up for the Lord and gaining His favor, or are we looking for man's approval? Stand up and be counted as one of the Lord's little warriors.	Cover Page Christian Comedy Education Essays, Etc. Health Home Letters Marriage Parenting Poetry/Art Stewardship Sites to See Work Extra

Eastern Adoption Experience
by Beth Stohr Brennan

We were never really anxious about the adoption process until the day we received the assignment of our son, Charlie D. Brennan. The picture, video and information from Dillon International gave a face and personality to our baby. We began to say things like "When can we get him? And "We have go to get him soon so we can bond with him." We worried, not so much about whether his physical needs were being met (the picture showed he was VERY well fed), but whether he was being emotionally stimulated and loved.

Then the call came in January 2000 and we went Seoul to bring our son home. It was then that we realized what a wonderful, caring process Eastern Social Welfare Society has developed for these babies because the children are VERY well cared for.

Eastern was founded by, and still headed by, Dr. Kim, Duk Whang, Ph.D. When we met Dr. Kim, we immediately sensed a peace and kindness that extended beyond his eighty some-odd years. He is so gentle that it is hard to believe he was a government official who "retired" into the adoption business. He spoke mostly of the children and placing them in good families. He prays for them daily and is the "soul" of Eastern. Perhaps bringing adoptive families together comforts him, as he has endured forced separation from many relatives in North Korea.

Dr. Kim, Do Young M.D., Ph.D., is the elder Dr. Kim's son and Executive Director of Eastern. He runs the day-to-day operation. While more business-like and crisp in his approach than his soft-spoken father, under his day-to-day operation of Eastern, the medical care for the babies is extensive and the facility is spotless. He, too, is very proud of the 30,000 children's files that Eastern has. With sentiment like this at the top, this warm and caring philosophy cannot help but extend to the staff at Eastern. Every staff person we dealt with went out of their way for us. Our social worker knew so much about our baby and helped us get additional information. The day we arrived at Eastern, we were invited to attend a ceremony to mark the completion of a new wing of the building (more sleeping rooms for adoptive parents as well as Korean adoptees on birthland tours). Every member of the staff participated in the ceremony. Both Dr. Kims led us in prayers of thanks to God and extended congratulations to various staff members who had shouldered responsibility for the construction.

And then there are the foster families. The day we visited Eastern there were 20 or so foster mothers lined up in the hallway waiting for the babies to have their regular medical check-ups. Many of them knew each other. The din of the chatter was high as they helped each other adjust the babies in and out of the baby carriers. It tugged at my heart to see them play with the babies knowing (and hoping) that the babies would be leaving them soon for permanent homes.

We were fortunate enough to meet our son's foster mother, Mrs. Kim, and visit her apartment. She had always seemed so serious in the pictures with our son that we had received from Dillon. Seeing her so playful with the baby was nice and it was evident from his responses that he was used to it. We also noted from the family photos hanging on her wall that she never smiled in them either. Mrs. Kim has been a foster mother with Eastern for 15 years and shared with us two big boxes in which she keeps mementos and photos of the over 70 babies she has cared for. She seemed delighted and proud that the adoptive families thought to send her photos.

As we were leaving for the airport on our final day, the elder Dr. Kim came into the waiting area to say a travel prayer (in Korean). As he began his prayer, the foster mothers began to cry and one sobbed audibly. The social workers and foster mothers followed us to the waiting van and pressed their faces to the windows for one last look at the babies before we departed for the airport. It was surreal. Part of me felt guilty at taking this precious child away. But then I looked down at the little boy in my arms and focused on only one thing --- getting him home.

Editor's Note: This is a potential adoption solution. Without endorsing the agency, (I'm not qualified to do that) I suggest a visit to Dillon International, Inc. Here's a note from them:

Dillon is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) child placement agency specializing in international adoptions. Monies received through private donation and fees for services rendered go toward covering services such as home study, post-placement reports and processing the paperwork required for an adoption in a specific country; providing for the needs of waiting children in the countries that we work in such as food, clothing, shelter, medical care, etc.; and cover the expenses of on-going post-adoption services that we provide to adoptees and their families such as annual heritage camps, birthland tours, reunion events and searches. We greatly appreciate your interest in the work that we do on behalf of the children who deserve to be loved and cared for by a permanent family.
Cindy Davison
Director of Public Relations
Dillon International, Inc.

Prayer for Children
By LIZJOH

Father God, creator of all things, I thank you for the gift of our children. I ask you to dispatch angels to watch over them and protect them in all their ways (Psalm 91:11). Send Christian friends into their lives to help them and to be godly influences. Lord, what an awesome privilege and responsibility to be a parent. Help us discern when our children need our special prayers or our help. Give us wisdom to be the parents we need to be, and help us to be an understanding friend to our children. Bless, watch over and protect our children Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen!

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents
Submitted by Shabalynn

1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely. Don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for a short time, please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs. Don't nag me all day long. ( You wouldn't want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness). Treat me as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I'll be prepared to make the kinds of decisions that life requires of me.

8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me to my brother or sister.

9. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

10. Please take me to Sunday School and church or synagogue regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.

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