You Don't Understand!

"You don't understand!" she wailed, racing blindly to her room. It was our youngest daughter, a volatile teen with a quick mind and quicker tongue. We had just refused to allow her to attend a rock concert with some friends in spite of her very well prepared arguments. She had earned and saved the money to go; a parent was doing the driving and even staying for the concert; one of the other kids was a Christian, too, and his parents had okayed the outing.

We tried to reason with her, explaining that we were not impressed with the type of crowd rock concerts drew and we were dubious about the music and lyrics of the show, but to her, we were just being old fashioned and over protective. We just didn't UNDERSTAND!

The, scene isn't unusual at all. It's constantly replayed in thousands of households world wide. The child asks "why?" and the parents put forth their reasoning which is quickly refuted by the child. My response to the pleading Crystal was "YOU don't understand!"

"Oh, yes I do," she retorted, "you just want me to be left out of everything. You never let me have any fun!"

We were getting nowhere. Finally, we just said "no," plain and simple. Then we explained that perhaps she was right and we didn't understand just as she did not always understand us. But that was okay. There would be times we would say "no," and we might even say it with no explanation except that we didn't feel good about exposing her to things which might not be wholesome.

In spite of her words, Crystal knew we loved her and our restrictions were born of that love. This was the bottom line and the most important aspect of our relationship. She was upset, but she'd get over it. After all, it's the same with us in our relationship with the heavenly Father. many times we don't understand His dealings in our lives, but because we love and trust Him, we can be at peace even when things aren't going our way.

Children learn early on which buttons to push and how best to convince parents to let them have their own way. Parents have an obligation to stand firm on such issues. We cannot take the easy way out. After all, understanding comes with maturity. Now Crystal is the Godly mother of four and guards the hearts and minds of her children as carefully as we did hers.

Tough Love for Parents!
From Viola Gilbert

I Loved You Enough . . .
Some day when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

• "I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home."
• "I loved you enough . . . to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you."
• "I loved you enough . . . to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep."
• "I loved you enough . . . to make you take a Milky Way back to the drugstore (with a bite out of it) and tell the clerk, 'I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.'"
• "I loved you enough . . . to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes."
• "I loved you enough . . . to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect."
• "I loved you enough . . . to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart."

"But most of all, I loved you enough . . .
to say 'no,' when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too."

Dad's Special Brownies
Sent by Margo Bentzler

Many parents are hard pressed to explain to their youth why some music, movies, books, and magazines are not acceptable material for them to bring into the home or to listen to or see.

One parent came up with an original idea that is hard to refute. The father listened to all the reasons his children gave for wanting to see a particular PG-13 movie. It had their favorite actors. Everyone else was seeing it. Even church members said it was great.

It was only rated PG-13 because of the suggestion of sex--they never really showed it. The language was pretty good--the Lord's name was only used in vain three times in the whole movie.

The teens did admit there was a scene where a building and a bunch of people were blown up, but the violence was just the normal stuff.

It wasn't too bad. And, even if there were a few minor things, the special effects were fabulous and the plot was action packed.

However, even with all the justifications the teens made for the 13' rating, the father still wouldn't give in. He didn't even give his children a satisfactory explanation for saying, "No." He just said, "No!"

A little later on that evening the father asked his teens if they would like some brownies he had baked. He explained that he'd taken the family's favorite recipe and added a little something new. The children asked what it was.

The father calmly replied that he had added dog poop. However, he quickly assured them, it was only a little bit. All other ingredients were gourmet quality and he had taken great care to bake the brownies at the precise temperature for the exact time. He was sure the brownies would be superb.

Even with their father's promise that the brownies were of almost perfect quality, the teens would not take any. The father acted surprised. After all, it was only one small part that was causing them to be so stubborn. He was certain they would hardly notice it.

Still the teens held firm and would not try the brownies.

The father then told his children how the movie they wanted to see was just like the brownies. Our minds are us into believing that just a little bit of evil won't matter. But, the truth is even a little bit of poop makes the difference between a great treat and something disgusting and totally unacceptable. The father went on to explain that even though the movie industry would have us believe that most of today's movies are acceptable fare for adults and youth, they are not.

Now, when this father's children want to see something that is of questionable material, the father merely asks them if they would like some of his special dog poop brownies. That closes the subject.

Please enjoy and learn from these two telling pieces:

Parents Are Misunderstood
Submitted by Floyd Bills

You thought you were happily smiling at your child from a hard stadium seat or a hot packed auditorium, But your child looked at your face and saw approval of him and joy in what he was doing.

You thought that you were just patting him on the back or on the head, or just ruffling his hair, But your child cherished the warm loving touch and his heart was brightened.

You thought you were reading a bedtime story with all the funny and scary voices, But your child enjoyed the fact you read every word even though he had heard them a hundred times before.

You thought you were letting your child help paint the house even though the paint got kind of runny and drippy in places, But your child knew that you were working together as a family and felt a sense of accomplishment as a family.

You thought you were singing silly songs or counting the cows on a long boring trip, But your child learned that it was fun being together no matter where you were.

You thought you were spending a few minutes of your time by throwing a ball in the back yard or baking some cookies, But your child, who realized that your time is precious, knew you were investing it in him.

You thought that you asked your child's opinion about something that wasn't too important, But your child thought you asked because his opinions and thoughts were important.

You thought you were being a good host by inviting your child's friends in for a cool snack on a warm summer day, But your child knew that his friends were important to you and always welcome in your home.

You thought the tears in you eyes went unnoticed when your child accomplished an important goal in his life, But your child knew that he was deeply imbedded in your heart and you sensed his accomplishment.

You thought that the refrigerator was as good of a place as any for hanging all the art work and "well done" papers that came home from school, But your child felt important when he came home from school each day with something to show you and tack up in his personal hall of fame.

You thought you gave your child some simple chore or job to do and told him, "Well done.", with a smile when he did it, But your child learned responsibility and began to realize he could tackle even tougher things.

You thought you were helping a troubled restless child get some sleep by fixing a cup of hot cocoa, But your child felt that you were opening your heart around a kitchen table and making all the problems a lot smaller.

You thought the vacation wasn't much of a success because the fish didn't bite and the sun didn't shine, But your child still remembers everything that happened and he still laughs at all of the funny parts.

You thought you were just pointing out the words in the church hymn book with your child's finger as he tried to sing along, But your child learned that singing praises to God in worship was important.

You thought you were just giving him a quick hug at a special moment or "just because", But your child carried it with him for a long time, because what you really said was, "I'm proud of you!", or "I love you!"

You thought you were just giving him a little kiss on the cheek to tell him good bye as he left for school, But your child felt warm and loved because he knew there would be another one waiting for him when he got home.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of times when parents really are misunderstood!

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